i'm emma i'm eighteenfundamental attribution error: the tendency to overestimate the effect of disposition or personality and underestimate the effect of the situation in explaining social behavior
Conor Oberst: Rapist
***Please read all of this before you make judgements***
There is an article online about one woman’s abusive relationship with a famous musician. In the comment section, someone posted these comments.
I was raped by a “rock star” myself. I was 16 years old, he was in his 20s. No one believed me (he wasn’t even that famous then). No one believed me because I had been his biggest fan for several years at that point, his pictures covered my locker, etc. I guess when I made the accusation, everyone thought it was some sick & twisted way to get… I don’t know, closer to him? My own mother didn’t believe me until recently and it’s 10 years later now. This guy is the poster boy for what was known as “emo” back in the day, everyone thinks he’s so sweet and sensitive and sad, that he could never be the vicious monster he was that night. It makes me sick. I want to out him so bad. Every time I hear his name, I want to tell people what he did. I think people deserve to know. But due to how shit went down with my own friends&family at the time of the assault, the backlash terrifies me. It hurts to constantly see the way people fawn over him as if he’s a God. It’s really hard dealing with your attacker being famous or popular when you know the truth about them but feel no one will listen.
Anyway, I am so sorry that this happened to you but so glad you finally got out.
and then later, this one:
I am not the author but as I said in a previous comment, I was raped by a “rock star” when I was 16 years old and he was in his 20s. My husband suggests I may feel some empowerment by outing my rapist. It was Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes (and several other bands/side projects he fronts, bright eyes being the most popular). I hope you are right about helping the next girl but I’m waiting for the backlash. Thanks for the courage, even if you weren’t directing it at me.
and finally this one:
Thank you, love. It was especially traumatizing because the way I became to know him is because his older brother was my 7th & 8th grade english teacher. His older brother is an amazing guy, a total sweetheart who helped me through some awful, awful times in my early teen years. He continued to be sort of a big brother mentor type to me throughout high school. I became a huge fan of Conor’s music and for my 16th birthday, Bright Eyes was playing a local show and my old english teacher (Conor’s brother) arranged for me to go and meet Conor after the show as a birthday present of sorts. Conor definitely took advantage of my teenage crush on him. At first, I was flattered when he was playing with my hair and had his hand on my leg. It was like my dream come true at that point. But then he clearly wanted to go further and I made it very clear and told him I was a virgin and wasn’t prepared to change that right then but he didn’t stop. It was a really fucked up way to realize that people you idolize and look up to so much can be shitty, terrible people. I lost touch with my old english teacher shortly after that incident because of what happened. I didn’t feel comfortable telling him what his brother had done to me and wasn’t confident that he would even believe me anyway. Conor took a lot from me including my virginity, my dignity and self esteem but also the only “father figure” and man I had ever really fully trusted I regret not telling his brother about it now that I’m older because when I look back on things, in hindsight I can see that his brother kind of thought he was a jerk and wasn’t very fond of him and he probably would’ve believed me and been a supportive adult for me to lean on in that situation.
Now I do understand that it’s nearly impossible to prove a rape that happened 10 years ago, so we will never know for sure. I know as Conor fans our immediate reaction may be to defend him and call this woman a liar. But please, before you do that, keep in mind that only about 5% or less of rape accusations are false. This woman is married with children and the rape happened 10 years ago. It doesn’t make sense for her to be fabricating this story… The kind of attention this will bring is something nobody would want. Think about it. Also, Conor was notorious for sleeping with younger girls during that time. Through running this blog I’ve heard many stories that confirm this.
I, unfortunately, believe this rape accusation to be true. I still love Conor’s music, but I am throughly disappointed and disgusted with this news and can no longer look up to him as a person. My heart goes out to this woman and any other victims there may be.